Sunday, July 04, 2010

How To Cure Email Stalker Issues


























Okay. So since I pressed send I've turned email stalker. One minute I was sane, happy go lucky Jude. The next I'm clicking 'check for new email' like a woman possessed. Medusa emerging when I see a new mail flash that turns out to be a circular about Cat Food (we once had kitties, I've forgotten to unsubscribe).

Anyhoo. Have finally decided it must stop. So here's how to avoid it.

1
Force feed yourself three chocolate biscuits with every click (sooner or later the conscience will kick in). Or your belly will be touching the keys quicker than your fingers.

2
Make yourself reread the chapter you were at in the book you are reading if you check your email again. This one gets me ratty because I love to read on...so consider it paperback penance for having no patience.

3
Both of the above at the same time. E.g. reread earlier chapters whilst eating lots of biscuits. Eventually you will be sick of the book. And be sick on the living room rug. No more stalking, problem solved.

P.S. I should add that I have no patience. I was the woman who had IVF treatment and had done double figures pregnancy kits before the 'official time to test date' came. Nuff said. Must CHILL. And when will someone invent submission predictor test kits please?

4 comments:

Suzanne Jones said...

Hugs Judy - waiting's horrid. Let me know if you run out of biscuits and I'll pop up the hill with a packet of HobNobs.

XX

Jackie Ashenden said...

Well, I know how you feel. I have no patience either. This is SO the wrong profession for me! Hang in there huh? :-)

Leah said...

I know completely how you feel! I don't have any subs out at the moment, but did spend a very painful 6 months waiting on a full request.

My word of warning is to make sure that when you check your email, it is somewhere that you actually want to receive the news. Sounds obvious, but I'd started obsessively checking my email while at work (5pm at work was 9am in London) and - you guessed it - my R came while I was at work. So I had to be stoic until my team had all gone home, and then went and had a quiet cry in the toilets :)

Lacey Devlin said...

Sooo funny!

I might have to come back when the giggles have gone we'll see how it goes...

You know I think that writers targetting lines that submit by email have it harder. Mine comes and goes the ol' fashioned way so you'd literally kill yourself driving into town to the PO Box fifty times a day. The one time I submitted to the Seduction contest (I think it was?) the email checking obsession got me. I don't know how you do it!